Crud World Domination Enterprises give you
Bar Blu, Rhyl
(reviewed by neil crud)
Its tough out there kids, sitting in the back of a cramped van a couple of dates into a lengthy tour of the country’s smaller venues. In your own backyard its easier, your friends, family and followers will come and support you. They’ll cheer after every song, maybe even dance if the alcohol has lowered their inhibitions. You leave Newport full of hope that everyone will know about you already and will flock in their droves out of sheer curiosity.
The stark reality is that playing in Rhyl when you’re unknown is down to potluck; sometimes you’ll throw a double six, other times (like tonight) you may throw a two and a three. Fear ‘n’ Loathing were on the bill and would have brought their entourage along to sup the beer and soak up the tunes, but they wrote a new entry in the Book of Rock ‘n’ Roll Excuses with: ‘We’ve been working in the studio and have stripped down all our songs and at the moment can’t remember how to play them.’ Now that’s a cracker and far better than ‘the drummer’s broke his wrist.’
We were also missing Colwyn Bay’s Kabir who pulled out on Sunday with no reason, and they were a band I was looking forward to seeing as I have an inkling they may be a new carnation of Die Kast Messiah who entertained the MASE youth a couple of years back.
The ever-willing Kyle Lee, not content with fronting Jives Room and guitaring for Gintis, ascended the stage to fill in with his uncontrollable curly hair; I reckon he should try straightening it for a laugh. Unfortunately his acoustic guitar wasn’t as willing and popped a string after 2 songs. Kyle then pulled out a banjo for one final number amid audience quips of ‘Anus you dipstick’ & ‘Son, you smell like a chicken’s ass’ shouted with a deep-south cotton-picking accent.
They may as well have been From Mars by the audience non-reaction to them, but the 3-piece from Newport are probably used to playing in foreign lands to foreign audiences more content with watching Champions League highlights or gassing with their mates.
Promoting their debut album ‘23’ they bashed out a tight, energetic, souped up set, belting out song after song from a left handed guitar and drum kit and a normal bassist (well, he’s right handed!). The set was short and the songs, although punchy, lacked any catchy hooks that would have me humming the next morning (I was humming, but it was the garlic bread I’d scoffed from the kebab house on the way home). It would’ve been nice to hear their version of The Cure’s A Forest to attract maybe a bit of attention as I did feel for them.
It is hard to publicise a tour or a gig, the local papers will put you in print but can be unreliable, you may have a promoter willing to fly post for you, you can infiltrate the local internet forums and / or you can keep coming back like a lot of groups do here.
Like I said, had the other 2 bands showed up there’d have been over a hundred people here instead of half that, but Dean, Johnny and Bob will have a shit night’s sleep in the van and spend the next day enjoying the sites in Wrexham before playing the Talbot; the next stop on their very long tour. Best of luck lads.
From Mars website
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